Documentary Unit: Rough and Fine Cut Feedback

Yesterday we showed Helen our updated rough cut to get some feedback before our fine cut is due to be handed in. We had changed quite a lot in the edit from what we showed Zoe, making the edit less linear through removing the 'journey' concept and focusing more on the interviews and finding the most suitable place for them to be, not just in chronological order.

Whilst viewing our updated rough cut, Helen gave out more constructive feedback and found parts we could improve on. Although we were a little downhearted since we though we were close to the fine cut, we developed a strong understanding of the feedback she gave, and agreed to make those changes to better our documentary.

Her feedback is as follows:

• More atmosphereric sounds in the beginning. The sound is a bit off. Helen also felt that the images shown in the beginning don't work to the voice over that we’re having. One of the sections worked where one man is taking a selfie.
• Cut out some of the pre-title sequences. She pointed out that we have at least 3 starting points in the beginning so we need to find out which one is the best one. 
• Slow down the part at Kamran’s house. Try to have him speak more laid-back. We won’t be able to redo the V.O since Kamran is on vacation, but we can see if we can cut some of the audio up to make a bit more spacing, creating some room to breathe. 
• At the Memorial: Go straight to the PTC in the beginning. Cut the establishing shots. With the VOX pops we should start with the couple, not the Asian guy. 
• Helen also didn’t like some of the commentary and suggested us to get a voice over artist for the commentary and have our presenter only talking at the PTC’s. We’ve talked about that as a group and we all disagree as we want to keep the commentary as it is and work around it to make it work instead of getting another person to do it. 
• Work on the way we are introducing Shahak. 
• There’s some lack in signposting in the documentary which makes it easy for the audience to get confused/lost. 
• Not having an as linear structure as we’re still having. 
• Make the interviews less sync heavy. Show cuts that underline what they’re talking about. 
• Have the Museum guy coming in earlier. We’ve talked about this but can’t find a spot where he fits better/someone else that fits to be at the end.

Sam's Feedback 

After Helens feedback and our title sequence, we came in the next day to get some more feedback after trying to make those changes. We spoke to Sam Creamer, and showed him what we had. He pointed out some technical issues (a part he specialises in), such as with Davids interview where at a couple of points we didn’t have right frame size which we hadn't previously noticed.  He also pointed out some sound issues where the audio levels dip, which we realised, but hadn't yet got round to editing. He liked our for having a strong body of work and the footage we had. He suggested having either the VOX Pops appear more frequently or have the holocaust survivors appear more.

Zoe feedback on Fine Cut:

We spoke to Zoe again for our fine cut deadline, and we found her feedback to be very useful. She found that she was pleased with the introduction and title sequence. 

• Have more intro shots to show travelling. The audience needs time to digest information and having a short break between interviews/travelling allows them to get their heads around it.
• Some voiceovers would be better if we changed them slightly to adjust
• She liked the title sequence, but want’s some of the selfies to be more horrifying. (I’ll be fixing this shortly).
• Want’s a sentence to re-establish what the doc is about after the title seq. (Here maybe we can move one of the V.O in the beginning of the doc.) 
• Have a different V.O when introducing Shahak. We have Kamran saying “project” twice in less than 10 seconds. Try to use a different word. (We’ll go through old V.O to see if we have anything where the words are different.)
• Would be great if we could have a better sign posting when being at the memorial. Although this isn’t something crucial for the doc, but more for future thoughts. (We have talked about this and concluded that we won’t be able to change it more. We’ve already made Shahak’s interview lean towards the memorial and using a PTC where Kamran says where he is. Unfortunately we won’t be able to make more signposting that that, will be changed for film festivals)
• A couple more shots of the Holocaust memorial before we move to Kamran driving to visit David. This will allow the audience to breath a little more.
• Have David introduced in a different way with a non sync clip instead of a clip where we see his mouth moving, but hear something different from what he’s saying in the shot. (His mouth is out of sync). (I agree with this but unfortunately there is no other coverage of this
•  Although it’s interesting. She likes the last bit where he talks about the Holocaust. Need to see what’s relevant for the doc. (We’ll have a look at it. She suggested laer to have David at the end of the Doc instead of Christoph which I agree is better. She also suggested to keep the cave men sequence if we have him at the end.)
• She like the fact that we’ve got back on the timeline during the interview with the survivors. 
• Like how the last interview (with Christoph) is shot.