Major Project: Roughcut Timeline and Feedback

Jack and I set out a rough timeline looking at our footage in a rough order of events as to what it should look like and what order it should be in:

Pull out of the garden as mum says 'I think the police are here, Court room shots for liam intro- also maybe police Possible shot- jan when talking about not the case that the teens chased and jumped on him, cut to Jerry saying court always believes the “victim” or as it should be complainant. Following legal Jerry black lad speech- Peter the repeater intro to mental health, cut to jan, coping mechanisms and Jordan suicide, then cut to Liam and his suicide confession to his mum Next shot peter talking about hope fading etc, cut to Jerry talking about Liam sat in prison sleek “should I do it” on to Eddie and whether he thought he would admit it. Final messages Finè. 

We go from Eddie gilfoyle flashback to the sink stomach to the family network to the double suicide pact. Fading in and out 

16:58 - Eddie cut to raging bull 
18:33- jan and Jordan sitting in prison over table talking
21:00 if I cry gives other people permission to cry into I wanted to commit suicide 

Make sure it doesn’t repeat too much and needs to keep it going, fast pace 
The first time we see Liam he immediately talks about what happened to his case, others talk about backgrounds. Liam should just talk about the crime that didn’t happen 

Maybe cut down on Jan and she’s talking about the events. 

Liam immediately talks about reaching court Start on it being a relatively normal at the start Maybe go straight to Eddie rather than Jerry after Liam Mothers and son and Eddie we also need Liam shots 

Jerry later says about justice in general, if you’re a young black lad etc we need to take that out to keep it more direct and less general I’d sooner die in jail.

Peter the repeater-pick our important parts Not Eddie say about admiring guilt so much Bits about Liam being a coping mechanism- 2:00morning chats cut out Need to be really equal with each of the characters, screen time and how we approach each one 

At the moment feels repetitive in places Reconstructions need to be highlighted as that. 

Jan needs to explain the case in half the time. Cut more to the points. 

When we introduce eddies case it’s quiet a lot of story intro Coping system hangs together very well and Peter connects a lot of what they are talking about. 

Closing statement from Eddie maybe seance if what he feels like himself. All he has left is to clear his name Where does Liam see himself now, his future. 


Tighter by next Tuesday Sense of the setup We need to step a balance between sensationalist and something serious but cinematic Get their feelings as a posed to their feelings Problematic? Liam doesn’t talk about person involved in his case because he can’t. Check with the Acosts them (like he instigated)






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