Story Telling Unit-working on 25 word pitch feedback
Whilst working on my feedback I came to the conclusion that my idea didn't have much depth to it. I had characters, which I knew well but I didn't really have a story for them as such. With this I decided that something needed changing so I began researching more into the illness dementia with websites such as dementia friends and also looked into elderly people who live on their own. I knew that I wanted almost a puzzle to my story that only becomes clear at the end. I then thought what if the audience don't actually know he has dementia? This could be very interesting, given that so many people with dementia don't actually know it, especially when it's in its early stages. I decided to write all of this down in note form and one thing lead to another where I finally developed the basic plot.mthese notes are as follows:
- Gets up in the morning to make a cup of tea
- Says good morning to everyone-camera doesn't actually show characters
- Sits and has tea and breakfast, rice crispies
- Gets dressed into clothes-jogging bottoms and shirt
- Says cheerio to everyone see you later
- Leaves door open
- Walks to the church
- Come across yobos who laugh at him-he doesn't know and waves hello etc to them
- Thinks it's morning but it's late afternoon, hats why he sees yobbos
- So dying is catalyst to his dementia but when wife dies it makes it worse
- Little flashbacks throughout that take him back to the turning off of life support
- Hears child p crying and flashes back to his wife crying when she's I'll
- Hears car screech and flashes back to his sons accident
- Trigger off his past memories
- Child walks into road and that reminds him
- Gets to he church-hears organist and it flashes back to one of his past services
- Says good morning which triggers organist-it's not morning so it makes him question his sanity
- Organist says can I help you? Then recognises him and says oh William! I didn't realise
- Then when he talks to him realises there's something not quite right.
- Right we'll come back to yours
- Takes him home
- Sees clutter everywhere, sees him talking to pictures
- Makes cup of tea but with potato peelings
- Gets even more suspicious and sees hat the pictures on the mantle piece order of device at funeral
- Police car siren goes past
- Sees flowers in someone's garden which he had on top of his wife's coffin at the funeral
- In the end he says "I need to go do evensong-it's lent service weds to get to church
- Could be his sons death anniversary
- George sees the date on the service card matches
- Knows it's significant so agrees to take him to the church again.
- They walk through the graveyard, camera focuses on gravestone which says "Samuel McLarry-beloved son of Rev. William McLarry and Eda McLarry
- Lights candle for his son and smiles, something that's given him peace
- Pan of the church which he sees as full when really it's empty
- He's worse this day because it's a day of significance
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